May 15
What a difference today. I concentrated beautifully. Was alert and enjoyed my session a whole lot. I said my verses fluently and there was none of that drowsiness. I did have some thought interruptions, but nothing that swayed me from meditation. Of course at the end of the session I felt really good and I know that I will have a good day.
May13, 14
My sessions on both these days were not entirely up to my satisfaction. I had gone to bed extremely late the night before and this is probably the reason for the poor concentration. I experienced this at other times as well. Lack of sleep can affect your ability to concentrate as you get drowsy and sleepy. A lesson to be learned is that you have to take care of your physical needs so that you can give off your best under any circumstances.
May 12
Today worked satisfactorily. I concentrated largely on just steadying my mind to just focus on a certain location. After this I recited my passage as usual. I did have to contend with the thought intruders but I ignored them and just continued. it feels good after the session knowing that an attempt has been made to focus. I told myself that I would make every effort to have a good day.
May 11
It is Mother's Day today. It was a busy day and my meditation session was somewhat disrupted today. Lots of disturbance from the outside as well as thought distractions. Will do a better job tomorrow.
May 10
I apologize profusely. In the course of my transferring the data from the original source to the archives,this entry was accidentally lost.
May 9
I again attempted to steady my thoughts by just "watching" with my eyes closed. I tried to focus on just one thought. It took a while but this technique worked. I recited my verses with some minor interruptions. At the end it felt good to have done the meditation
May 8
I was feeling quite elated after doing so well yesterday and began my meditation with confidence. It went well but not as well as yesterday. I think the big difference today is that I had slept for very few hours the night before. This is affecting my concentration. So it is a good reminder that we have to take care of physical needs in order to be comfortable and achieve concentration and success in daily tasks.
May 7
Considering I had difficulty concentrating yesterday, I decided to take steps to observe myself. When I closed my eyes, I saw a swirling motion. I just continued to observe this. The swirling continued, but as I continued to just observe, the swirling lessened and became calm. At this point I recited my verses and found that I could concentrate with great ease and it was a pleasure. I felt really good after this went so well.
May 6
For some reason I had a problem with my concentration today. Usually I know why this may be happening, too little sleep, hungry, or upset. Today was none of these. But I did the best I could and in between thought distractions, completed my recitation of the passages. It still feels good to have made the effort and to ensure that I do it daily.
May 5
My session today was pleasant. I began with reciting OM and then went on to reciting the beautiful passages. I still had to contend with the uninvited thoughts. But as usual I let them slip by and just continued with the passage. Again if felt good just to have made the effort to concentrate. I told myself that I would have a good day.
May 4
I recited OM several times before reciting my passages, to help me get ready for meditation. I then recited my passages, slowly attempting to concentrate while saying the words. For the most part it worked well. I still had to contend with those pesky thoughts, but knew the only way to deal with them was to ignore them and continue the passages. I still felt good at the end of the session and told myself that I would continue to have a good day.
May 3
Today worked well for me. Concentration was much better and I recited my verses without too much of disturbances from thoughts. When that happened I at once paid attention to the passages, ignored the thought and let it pass.I told myself that I would have a good day.
May 2
A day that worked better. I recited my passages fairly well, with some uninvited thoughts creeping in. But it still felt good to have done the meditation. Remember as these thoughts flit in, just ignore them. Go on with the meditation. At the end tell yourself that you will have a good day.
May 1
Another new month. How is the practice of Meditation going? I hope you are still going on with it, as I am. There are difficult days when it is very hard to concentrate. I had one of those days today. But the important thing is that you must go on with it. Just the discipline of sitting quietly and making the attempt to be focussed will help you feel better.
April 30
I worked on just taking in the quietness of the time and stilling my mind. I then recited my passages. It is always a comfort. Even though interruptions occur we should not give up the practice as it definitely helps to still the mind. Remember that with anything new, it takes time to learn.
April 29
A session that began with some breathing in and out while being aware of my actions. I followed this with chanting OM. I then repeated my passages. I had to contend with some uninvited thoughts but it was still a time that helped me relax and feel good.
April 28
A somewhat challenging day as concentration was poor due to some difficult personal issues. However I still found this time to be valuable as focusing on one subject helps to filter out the rabble of thoughts. As a result one feels "lighter" and better able to cope with the issue at hand. I told myself that I would have a good day.
April 27
Today was a satisfying experience as well. I spent a while acclimatizing myself to feel peace and quietness. I then recited my passages. It was not without some thought disturbances but overall it feels good to have tried to concentrate on just the one subject.
April 25-26
On both days I concentrated on "reaching within" to find that place which makes me feel whole again. It has been difficult the last few days as I am coping with some painful personal issues. I sometime spend about half the meditation time just feeling the peace of being quiet. I then recite my passages. I definitely feel a sense of calm and peace come over me. I have made a video of the favorite verse that I use for meditation. I made it to honor my son on the occasion of his marriage. You can view the video here.
April 24
I looked forward to meditation today especially after the good experience I had yesterday. I was already prepared for meditation as I did some exercises and repeated words of concentration. I then recited my verses. For the most part it went well with minor interruptions.
April 23
Today was quite different. I had had a most unpleasant morning, engaged in an argument that left me feeling distraught, sad and quite at my wits end. I had been insulted very badly and was feeling very low indeed. But I did know that I was not the person I was made out to be and I thought about whether that person was qualified in any way to make such pronouncements.
At that moment it became quite clear that I could not help what insults came my way, but I decide on how I would react to them. I decided that I knew myself and would not let this human being upset me. I put on my shoes and went into the yard and ran and walked for about 30 minutes. During this time, several times, I found that I was repeating the arguments in my head. I told myself to just say, Peace, Peace, Peace every time the argument thought came up.
By the end of that time I was beginning to feel really good. The hurt I felt was leaving me and I felt such a calmness. I then decided to meditate. I sat and closed my eyes. I usually see pitch darkness when I do this. Today, I saw swirling pink clouds. I just focused and watched this spectacle. It was as if I was being enveloped in peace. I just viewed this spectacle and felt such peace and calm. I just sat in silence and continued to watch this swirling pink clouds. After about 10 minutes of this I recited my verses. At the end of the session I was feeling so very, very good and told myself that I would not be upset by someone insulting me again. I will look for strength within myself.
April 22
To assist with the transition to meditation concentration I began with a few gentle and rhythmic breathing exercises. I also repeated OM several times as I enjoyed this as well. I continued to recite my passages which went for most of the time with the thoughts creeping in occasionally. It seems like there seems nothing for it but to persist with meditation. I told myself that I would have a good day
April 21
I began with some quiet moments and then concentrated on breathing while being conscious of taking breaths. I recited my passage with interest as usual. In spite of this I still get the intruding thoughts visiting. I don't dwell on them, just bypass them and continue with the verse. I know that this is to be expected and there is no other way to deal with these intruders but ignore them and not give up the attempt to go on with meditation. It also does help to know that just those few minutes of discipline makes one feel really good.
April 18-20
Dear Visitors, I was unable to get to the website to update for the last 2 days. I have therefore recorded the meditation sessions together.
The pattern is similar. I begin with creating an atmosphere of quietness and steadiness. I also do some of the breathing exercises while being aware that I am breathing in and breathing out. My passages are then recited. I am often interrupted by thoughts sneaking in, some days more than others. The only way to overcome this is to just continue to meditate and ignore the interruptions. At the end of the sessions it always feels good to have tried and does give me a feeling of satisfaction.
April 17
Like yesterday, I began the session with some deep breathing while being conscious of breathing. I then repeated my passages. Like other times some passages go by with no interruptions by thoughts while others always do. I just continued the recitation without giving the uninvited thoughts any attention. I told myself that I would have a good day.
April 16
I began the session today with some breathing exercises to get into the spirit of concentration. I recited my passages for the most part without too many uninvited thoughts. The only thing to do is to just continue with the passage and do not be concerned with all the disturbances. You are trying and that is what matters. I ended by saying I would have a good day.
April 15
On Sat. 12th April, my eldest son was married. What a great day it was. We stayed with him for a few days. There were lots of people to meet, many last minute arrangements to take care of. It was great but disruption of schedules was part of this change of scene. I only managed to squeeze in short periods of meditation. But it was satisfying to know that at least the discipline of concentration was still there. On the 15th was when I had a fuller session. I had no external interruptions only, thoughts just flitting in and out. I had to just ignore them and continue with my passages. It felt good to get back and attempt to focus and pay attention to one thing at a time.
April 11
Readers please note that I may not post an entry everyday for the next few days. I am going to Seattle to attend my son's wedding and may not have access to a computer during that time. I will however continue to meditate during those days. I should be back on schedule on 4/14/08
April 10
I did much better today. I recited my verses without too many disturbances by these unwelcome thoughts. The important thing is to make efforts to say each word slowly and be mindful of what is being said. It goes much better if this level of concentration can be reached. I plan to have a good day.
April 9
Today was a challenge for me as I had had a bad night and was not able to concentrate. A lesson to be learned is that one has to be in good form physically. I was very sleepy and therefore did not do well today. Will try again later of do a better job tomorrow.
April 8
A good exercise in concentration. I did not use the candle. Just closed my eyes and in the darkness fixed on one spot which after a while appeared to have some light. After repeating OM a few times, I recited my passages silently. It went well for most of the way, but I did have to contend with some interruptions by these sneaky thoughts. I ignored them and continued with meditation until the end of the session. I felt good and told myself that I would have a good day.
April 7
Again, no candle today. I felt fine but just wanted to test my concentration level. I had a mixed results. Sometimes I was ale to recite the verses with no thought interferences and at other times it was not that good. But I did not stray for too long and immediately went back to reciting the verses slowly. At the end of the session, I told myself that I would have a good day.
April 6
I had a headache when I woke up this morning. I applied some coconut oil to my head and forehead, took 2 Ibuprofens and had a hot shower. I felt much better after this. However I felt sensitive to the smell of the perfume from the scented candle that I usually use. So I decided to meditate without the candle today. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on a spot. As all I had was darkness, it was only towards the latter part of the session that I was able to focus on what appeared to be a kind of yellow pad. I recited my verses while concentrating on focusing. I would rate my concentration at about 60%, as I still had to contend with my unwelcome thoughts. Still I completed the meditation feeling good and planned to feel good for the rest of the day.
April 5
A 10 minute session today due to a few time constraints. So today, I just stood and recited my verses. There were no aids such as the candle. It still felt good to be making the effort to do meditation. I enjoyed saying my verses silently. Those sneaky thoughts were still around. I ignored them and continued on my verses. At the end of the session I told my self that I would have a good day.
April 4
A good session which began with taking in the atmosphere and chanting OM before reciting the verses. Concentration was fine with some thought interferences. I continue to enjoy these sessions and feel good at the end and confirm to myself that the day will also be good.
April 3
I began the usual way by enjoying the steadiness of the candle while I chanted OM, silently. I repeated my verses and concentrated on the words. Despite my efforts, those sneaky thoughts still found their way in. But that was okay, because I continue to ignore them and just go back and repeat the verses with even more of an effort to concentrate. At the end of the session I told myself that I would have a good day.
April 2
A very pleasing session this morning. Overall I concentrated well. I repeated OM at the beginning but did not spend too long on the breathing exercise. I just enjoyed reciting the passages, although not entirely without those intruding thoughts. Besides giving one practice to concentrate, the inspiring verses does uplift one and helps one feel good.
April 1
On April fool's day, I meditated well. Not many interferences from thoughts. I gave myself a few minutes to absorb the quiet time, repeated OM a few times and then went on to recite my verses. I said them slowly, paying attention to the words. This helped greatly to minimize thoughts creeping in. At the end of the session I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 31
I completed the session today with very few disturbances from uninvited thoughts. But I have also learned another lesson. Have enough sleep before you try and meditate. I suppose this goes for any task. I had had a very late night and had to get up very early. I had had just about 4 hours of sleep. I found that I was slow with my recitation. That is not bad but my slowness was due to feeling sleepy. Sometimes I could not remember that last words that I had recited. So overall not a very good meditation session but I promised to have a good day.
March 30
I was in a different setting today, so I did not use a candle. I closed my eyes and concentrated. In the darkness before me, I tried to find a point of focus by visualizing a flame. Although I have been able to do this at other times, it did not work for me today. I recited my passage with some verses flowing very well. I had to contend with some uninvited thoughts but, ignored them and continued with the meditation.
March 29
I am able to recall the passages so well now. It is strange how sometimes I just glide through the verses with no interference from thoughts and yet with some verses I seem to somehow invite these thoughts, or are they attracted to those verses!! I am paying particular attention to the times that I seem to get disturbed by thoughts. The session ended with my feeling good about having tried to focus & I told my self that I would have a good day.
March 28
I spent a while today just focusing on the flame of the candle and found that there was very little distraction. When I closed my eyes, the image of the orange flame appeared in the darkness. I concentrated on this image for a while and recited my passages. When the image disappeared I continued my passages with occasional uninvited thoughts slipping in. At the end of the session, I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 27
I had mixed success with concentration today. But persistence is the key to overcome the visits by these creepy thoughts. As Eknath Easwaran states, every little bit counts. So I continued repeating my passages. I felt good at the end of the session and told myself that I would have a good day.
March 26
As the window was open just a little, my candle was not steady today, but flickered all the time. This is how our mind is , any disturbance causes us to get agitated and often upset. The practice of meditation is to help you to concentrate and focus on one subject at a time so that you will be able to have steadiness and calmness.
I had some success during meditation when thoughts did not disturb but they do still find there way in. Nevertheless, it is still a good feeling to have tried to concentrate and meditate. At the end of the session I again told myself that I would have a good day.
March 25
I found it very relaxing today to just chant OM for several minutes. I then went on to the passage and recited the verses silently. I continued with the recitation even though thoughts penetrated my concentration. It is just persistence that is important so that one day we can recite the passages without disturbance of any sort. I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 24
As usual I spent a few minutes getting myself acclimatized to the atmosphere of silence and peace. I chanted OM and then recited my passages. I did have thoughts creeping in again. But I just continued to recite the verses slowly and deliberately. It was good to know that I had accomplished several repetitions with minimal thought interferences.
March 23
The concentration was much better today. I focussed on the passage and did well. Although the session still had thoughts that found there way in, it did not affect the flow of my concentration. I quickly went back to concentrating. I told myself that I would maintain the good feeling that I had after the meditation for the rest of the day.
March 22
My concentration today fluctuated between very good and fair. When the thoughts did feature, as usual I ignored them and continued to meditate. Persistence and regularity are key to ensure better focus. I will continue to try to achieve better focus.
March 21
A nice start to meditation today with good concentration. Still not without those pesky thoughts creeping in. But the only way to go is to ignore them and persist. I like reciting my passages and it makes me feel good. I hope to continue this good feeling for the rest of the day.
March 20
The candle again helped create the inviting atmosphere. As I looked at the steady flame I chanted OM a few times and then went on to the breathing exercise. These sneaky thoughts still managed to creep in. I then went on to recite my passages. I enjoy these verses and this helps me concentrate. I am sometimes able to complete the whole verse without a single thought creeping in. This is encouraging. At the end I completed the passage and told myself that I would have a good day.
March 19
I gazed a long while at the flame, admiring it's steady, golden colored long shape. I again chanted OM slowly and then did a few breathing exercises. I recited my passages with with very little disturbances today. Although the thoughts did creep in, I was able to cope a lot better today. That felt good. After some reflection I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 18
I find that practicing meditation has become very much an important part of my activities. Even though there are difficulties with concentration and the mind drifting on to other subjects, just trying to focus and the discipline of taking the time to do it is also valuable. As usual I found thoughts creeping in but I persisted with my passages. At the end of the session it was again a good feeling and I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 17
The candle continues to create a good atmosphere of peace, calmness, being steady and ongoing. I felt like I could just spend the whole session just observing this flame. I recited my passage. My concentration went very well for a while and then I had setbacks as well. Each time this happened I ignored the thought and continued with the verse. As usual I felt good at the end of the session and told myself that I would have a good day.
March 16
I gazed at the candle for a while and then closed my eyes while I recited OM and did a few breathing exercises. I then recited my passages. I know the passages very well and do not need to refer to the book. However there are some verses that I recite with absolute concentration, while somehow those sneaky thoughts still creep in, in the midst of reciting some other verses. The only way to deal with these thoughts is not to dwell on them and just continue to concentrate on the passage. At the end, I spent a while enjoying the ambiance. I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 15
Due to some bad planning I had very little time for meditation today. I lit the lamp and decided to just stand and recite my verses. It was good to have this change of scene. I went straight onto to reciting. Whenever you feel comfortable to do this you may omit reciting OM and the breathing exercises. These are just aids. I recited the passages a few times. Sometimes I had to brush off some thoughts and just continued with the passages. The struggle to just concentrate on one thought is a hard one but at least the attempt is being made. At the end I felt good about my meditation time and told myself that I would have a good day.
March 14
I began with enjoying the atmosphere a lit candle creates and as I watched that steady but constant flame, I thought that this is how I would like my mind to be. I recited OM and repeated the breathing exercises. I caught myself with an intruding thought and quickly put an end to that. I then recited my passages a few times. I did have the uninvited guests again but continued to complete the session feeling good about trying to concentrate. I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 13
Today I somehow did not find the need to gaze at the flame as I usually do. When I closed my eyes, I pictured the candle in that darkness. This was interesting as well and I tried concentrating on that image. I chanted OM and did a few breathing exercises. I recited my passage and said the words slowly, trying to be focused. In spite of this thoughts still find their way into my concentration. Well, I just ignore them and continue with reciting the passage. I still feel good at the end of the session and I tell myself that I will have a good day
March 12
Well I was glad that today went much better. I again began with the lit candle, chanting Om and a few breathing exercises. I followed this with reciting my passages. It went well but not without the sneaky thoughts still creeping in. I just continue to ignore them and go on with my passage. I enjoy the time at the end as well and slowly end the session and telling myself that I will have a good day
March 11
I seem to have taken a giant step backward today. I am afraid I was very distracted. A situation had upset me and although I tried not to let it interfere with my meditation, it did. However I was always conscious of the thoughts butting in and ignored them and continued with the passage. It was just more distractions than usual.
It is for just such situations that meditation can be beneficial so that you cope with upsetting situations in a calmer manner. I guess I am getting there, because I still felt the need to do the meditation. I know that one day it will be the resource that will help me to cope better. I did tell myself that I would have a good day. I know I will cope better tomorrow.
March 10
I lit the candle and gazed at the peaceful, golden flame and just took this in for a while and then recited OM. I did a few breathing exercises before reciting my verses. I still had to deal with the thoughts that crept in. But I just worked at continuing to recite the verses and ignored the thoughts. I felt good after the session and I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 9
I began with gazing at the candle, which today flickered quite a bit as there was a stump of the match that caught alight. Isn't this just like our minds, we are OK until a disturbance and then we go all all over the place. Wish it was as easy as removing the debris causing the disturbance. This is what we are doing with meditation. Teaching ourselves to focus and cope with stressful times without losing our cool.
I continued reciting OM and then the breathing exercises. I recited my passage carefully but disappointingly I still had those intruding thoughts creeping in. As usual I ignore the thoughts and continued with my passage. At the end of the session I spent a few quiet moments and told myself that I would have a good day. I could not help thinking that I was conscious of these thoughts coming in because I was making an effort to still my mind and focus. When we do not do this just how busy is the mind? No wonder we are stressed and tired.
March 8
Unfortunately todays session was not as good as yesterday's. I began with reciting OM and then doing the breathing exercise. As I recited my verses, I was greatly distracted today. Will just continue to work at it and try and do better tomorrow. I did tell myself that I would have a good day.
March 7
Today went well as I did not have much interference with thoughts. I paid a great deal of attention to the word and in tis way I found that I was able to focus better. This is good training to apply to other areas of life so that whatever chore you undertake you will give it your all. At the end of the session I told myself that I would have a good day
March 6
I felt really elated by yesterdays success in not having those sneaky thoughts coming.I started with repeating OM, and then the breathing. Those sneaky guys still found their way in. I ignored them. As I recited my passage they crept in as well, but I found that I had no unwelcome guests the last time that I recited this passage. It just needs tremendous efforts to concentrate on the words. I felt good that I was trying. I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 5
I began with be gazing at the steady flame. It always steadies my mind. I repeated OM which seems to come naturally as I gaze at the candle. I breathed in and out while repeating that I was doing so. I then recited my verses. Of course those creepy thoughts still came floating in. I ignored them and this time concentrated really well and was able to recite the passages 2 times without a thought sneaking in. That felt really good. As I left the room I knew I had done well and I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 4
I began as usual, enjoying the beauty of the steady and slow flame. I repeated OM and then did a few breathing exercises. I recited my passage silently and tried hard to concentrate without getting tense about it. The verses are beautiful so I really enjoy this time. Although I still have thoughts creeping in, I just go on with the passage and do not dwell on the subjects that flicker in. At the end of the session I spend a few moments savoring the this atmosphere before leaving the room.
March 3
I meditated at home today and followed the usual procedure and lit the candle. I really do enjoy just watching that steady, flame and today there was no flickering. It really does help to create a good atmosphere. I repeated OM, chanting it a few times, with the sound originating from from the navel area and reaching my head. This also helps concentration as you follow the sound along.
Next came the breathing in and out and silently repeating that I was doing so. I then went on to repeating my verses. I tried hard to concentrate but found that I was actually quite tense to ensure that I was doing this correctly. That defeats the purpose of meditation. If you find yourself doing this too, stop. Just relax, shrug your shoulders and start again slowly repeating the verses. If the thoughts do come in, just let them go and continue with your verses. This is what I did. At the end of the session I felt like I had done well to have corrected myself so that I could just enjoy the meditation session. I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 2
Today was different. I was unable to meditate in the morning. Later in the afternoon I meditated outdoors as the weather was so beautiful and warm. I repeated Om and did a few of the breathing exercises. I continued reciting my verses. I did this slowly to ensure that I paid attention to the words. Although I did better in concentrating, there seems to be no escaping the way thoughts creep in. I had to deal with this by just going back and repeating the verses again. It was still a good experience and I told myself that I would have a good day.
March 1
My session began with a lit candle. Again I enjoyed just watching that steady flame, which helps greatly in getting into a quiet frame of mind. I chanted OM and then a few breathing exercises before reciting my verses. I am much more comfortable in saying all the verses. I still had to cope with the thoughts just creeping in. I ignored them and just continued with my passage. At the end of the session I felt good and told myself that I would have a good day.
February 29
The flame is so calm and steady today. It's surrounding are clean, just as we have to clean distractions from our surroundings. I began with repeating OM and then the breathing exercise. I proceeded with reciting my passage. Distractions did occur but I coped very well when reciting my verses, slowly and taking in all the words. At the end of the session I enjoy the serenity of that time and spend a while sitting there until I dowse the candle and leave.
Observation and Comments
Prior to the meditation session, I spent a few minutes tidying my surroundings as I believe a messy area also reflects a messy mind. As one proceeds with meditation you will find that you also want to have things around you in order, so that you reduce chaos and stress.
I did have distractions as I had received some very disturbing news yesterday and this had bothered me a lot. I told myself that I could not do anything about the unpleasant news except for having the person in my thoughts and prayers.This helped a lot.
February 28
The trimming of the candle worked well. There is no leaping of flames, just a gentle steady flame. I repeat OM, do my breathing exercises and repeat my passages. I find that I am coping better with distractions. As soon as I am aware that I am slipping up, I pay attention to what I am actually saying. At the end of the session I savor the feeling of calm and tell myself that I have done well and that I will have a good day.
February 27
It was my first day back to meditation at home. I lit my candle and began with reciting OM. I then began the breathing, repeating that I was breathing in and out. I continued to recite the passage which is much easier now. I did consult the book as well to check that I was saying the passage correctly.Thoughts did stray in but I managed to quickly go back to the passage. When the time was up and spent a few minutes taking in the peaceful feeling. I told myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day.
Observation and Comments
The candle that I have been using is a large cylindrical shape. It has burned down to almost one third of the candle size. When I lit the candle today, there was a lot of flickering and the flames leaped to the side of the candle wall which began melting and creating a large flame. I realized that it was possible for this flame to get out of hand and dowsed it off. One has to be aware and take care. I could not help thinking that that gentle flame got out of hand because of "distractions" very much like our mind. After the meditation session, I trimmed off the extra walls of the candle and removed the burned debris.
February 14-26th
This is a summary and observations of meditation during the the time I spent in India and in transit. I did not have a lamp or candle to help focus. I concentrated largely on the breathing exercises and reciting the passages. At this stage I could recite most of the verses without having to consult the book. Again the most outstanding thing was that when my concentration strayed, I was repeating the words without really being in the present. So it is very important to always be cognizant of the words that are being spoken. Each time this happened I made extra efforts to concentrate. It did feel good to begin the day with meditation.
Feb.14-26th
Note to all my readers: I will be out of the country for 2 weeks. However I will continue to meditate and when I get an internet connection I will post my entries. I will just continue to handwrite them. All the best with your practice.
February 13
Todays session went much better as I really paid attention to OM, the, breathing and the verses. I again enjoyed the calmness of the candle. When thoughts did creep in I continued, more consciously with the verses. At the end of the session I sat and savored the atmosphere, said that I had done well and that I would have a good day, before snuffing out the candle.
February 12
I had to leave very early this morning to go to the train station. I had a cup of tea to refresh me. On my return, I settled in to meditation. I started as usual, chanting OM while gazing at the steady, golden flame. I then did the breathing and silently said that I was breathing in and out. This definitely helps to ward off distracting thoughts.
I followed this with reciting my verses, some from memory and the rest by looking at the book. I say it slowly, trying to take in all the words as this too prevents those thoughts from coming in. It is very tricky, we have to just continue to go on saying the verses and work on improving our concentration. At the end of the session, I sat and took in the atmosphere, told myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day.
February 11
This morning was different. I had to rise very early to take my husband to the train station. I had some tea and half a slice of peanut butter sandwich. Upon my return, I began my meditation after settling in. I began reciting OM while gazing at the steady candle. Just uttering the long drawn out sound from deep within and “ carrying ” it through to the crown of my head feels very relaxing.
I then breathed in and out while repeating that I was doing so. I concentrated much better today, with fewer thoughts slipping in. I also recited and read my passages. Although I attempted to be fully aware of the words, I did slip up and thoughts crept in. I am able to quickly continue with focusing and ignoring the thoughts. After the alarm buzzed, I turned the candle off, sat quietly and told myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day.
February 10
I had gone to bed extremely late the night before, so I slept in much later than I usually do this morning . While I was in the bathroom the telephone rang and had to be answered. So by the time I sat for meditation it was around 11a.m. While in the midst of meditation the phone rang again. Although it was answered by another person , the conversation was loud enough for me to hear. Then I was being called to the phone. At the point I had to interrupt my meditation and requested that a message be given, that I would call back later.
In spite of the interruption I silently repeated OM, did the breathing exercises and recited as well as read my verses. Again, thoughts did creep in. I ignored them and continued to pay attention to the verses. When the alarm buzzed I turned it off and reflected for a while. I told myself and that I had done well that I would have a good day.
Observation and Comments
A big lesson today was a reminder that an ideal time for meditation is very early in the morning before you get caught up with the tasks of the day and phone calls. Apart from the distraction this causes, it really is a nice feeling to start the day with meditation. I was also aware that the thoughts just seeped in the moment I was not concentrating fully. So I have to continue to watch this.
February 9
While having a shower and cleaning the bathroom, prior to meditating, I practiced mindfulness. I repeated to myself, that I was having a shower, that I was washing my hair, cleaning the sink, wiping the counter tops and so forth. Whenever I did this I noticed that I was doing a better job. It was also a good practice in focusing so when I began meditation I was already prepared.
I began saying OM while gazing at the candle. I did the breathing exercise for about 5 minutes, repeating that I was breathing in and breathing out. I then recited the verses that I memorized and read the others. When the alarm buzzed, I turned if off, sat for a while and then turned off the candle. I told myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day.
Observation and Comments
I had the same experience, while saying the words and being conscious of it, I had no distractions with thoughts, but the moment I slipped up and was not fully concentrating those thoughts kept coming in. So the only thing to do is to try and be really steadfast and concentrate really well on the breathing and reading.
February 9
While having a shower and cleaning the bathroom, prior to meditating, I practiced mindfulness. I repeated to myself, that I was having a shower, that I was washing my hair, cleaning the sink, wiping the counter tops and so forth. Whenever I did this I noticed that I was doing a better job. It was also a good practice in focusing so when I began meditation I was already prepared.
I began saying OM while gazing at the candle. I did the breathing exercise for about 5 minutes, repeating that I was breathing in and breathing out. I then recited the verses that I memorized and read the others. When the alarm buzzed, I turned if off, sat for a while and then turned off the candle. I told myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day.
Observation and Comments
I had the same experience, while saying the words and being conscious of it, I had no distractions with thoughts, but the moment I slipped up and was not fully concentrating those thoughts kept coming in. So the only thing to do is to try and be really steadfast and concentrate really well on the breathing and reading.
February 8
I began with saying Om, as I seem to automatically begin to chant OM while I gaze at the candle. I try hard to concentrate on following the flow of the sound of OM leaving the lower part of my stomach, traveling up my chest until it reaches the crown of my head.
After this I also breathed in and out while repeating that I was breathing in and out. I did this for about 5 minutes and then recited my verses. I read slowly, paying attention to the words. At the end of the session, I turned off the alarm and sat and watched the candle for a while. I told myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day.
Observation and Comments
I concentrated much better today. Although thoughts did filter in, I noticed it happened when I failed to just concentrate on the words. I was repeating the words but I was "elsewhere." This kind of distraction can happen in seconds. Just be watchful and continue to just repeat the words again.
February 7
After settling in I watched the gentle flame. I found that I was silently repeating OM, without my actively choosing to say it. So I decided to repeat this a few more times with my eyes closed. I then breathed in & out, following my breath and saying that I was breathing in and out. I did this for about 8 minutes.
I then read my verses. When the alarm buzzed, I turned it off and sat quietly for a few minutes. I told myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day.
Observations and Comments
I can say about 2 whole verses now with no errors. Concentration is still a problem. Even while repeating Om and breathing in, if for moment I am not consciously thinking of what I am saying I find my mind has introduced new subjects. I ignore them and once again try harder to concentrate. I will work on improving this tomorrow.
February 6
I again settled in by gazing at the candle flame. It is so rich and golden and steady. I do the breathing exercises. Every time I inhaled I told myself that I was breathing in and every time I exhaled I told myself that I was breathing out. It helps to be focused and I like this.
I then repeat Om from the bottom of my stomach, following the sound until it reaches my head. I do this for 5 minutes and then read my verses. At the end of the session I turn the alarm off, and sit quietly for a few seconds. I tell myself that I have done well and that I will have a good day.
Observations and Comments
The breathing exercise together with saying the words that I am breathing is a really good tool for focusing. However I found that when I slipped up & did not fully concentrate on saying the words, thoughts still floated in. I was also distracted with thoughts when I repeated Om and read my verses. The only thing to do is continue to ignore these thoughts.
February 5
I watched the flame for a while and then closed my eyes. In the darkness the image of the flame still remained. I tried concentrating on the image and breathed in and out while saying the words. It proved to be a distraction. So I just concentrated on saying, “Breathing In,”when I inhaled. With each breath that I exhaled I said, “Breathing Out”.I did this for about 5 minutes.
I then repeated Ohmmmmmmmmm, imagining the sound originating from deep within my body, and the sound continued upward until it reached my head. I did this for 5 minutes as well. I then read my verses. I can recite 2 of them fairly fluently. I still find thoughts creeping in. I ignore them and continue to recite my verses. When the alarm buzzed I turned if off, sat quietly for a few minutes, said to myself that I had done a good job and that I would have a good day.
Observations and Comments
I found that just breathing in and out, while being aware of breathing, was the best way to focus on just one thing. I experienced the least amount of intrusive thoughts. while chanting OM, I still had to fend off thoughts. Tomorrow I may just do the breathing exercise for 10 minutes.
February 4
After a very brief look at the candle I closed my eyes. In the darkness I tried to picture the flame of the candle. I then spent about 6 minutes breathing in and out. With each breath that I inhaled I said to myself,“Breathing In,”. With each breath that I exhaled, I said “Breathing Out”.
I then repeated Ohmmmmmmmmm, imagining the sound originating from deep within my stomach. As I say Ommmmmmmm, I am “ dragging “ that sound all through a path in my body and leaving it in my head. I repeat this for about 5 minutes. I then read my verses, trying hard to focus, pushing aside those interfering thoughts. After turning off the alarm I watched the candle flame again. Today it was not calm and steady but very frisky. I tell myself that I have done well and that I will have a good day
Observations and Comments
Breathing consciously and repeating OM is a great way to focus. The thoughts still creep in but are less intrusive. Being absorbed in following your breath is training the mind to focus on just one thought.
February 3
I again found myself repeating the lines from my meditation passage. I was ready to begin after the preliminaries. I spent about half the time just breathing and being aware that I was breathing. I took deep breaths in, and then out. This time I just repeated,“ breathing in, breathing out,“ each time I took a breath. It really helped to keep me focussed. Chanting OM a few times had similar results in focusing.
I then recited and read my inspiring passage. The thoughts still found their way in. I continued reading until the alarm buzzed. After a few moments of reflection, I told myself that I had done well and that I had had a good day.
Observations and Comments
I found the breathing exercises to be so good for concentration. I intend to suggest that before one begins with meditation one should just practice breathing in and out for 5 minutes and repeating,“ Breathing in, breathing out,” This exercise is a great help in learning to focus.
February2
While showering, I found that I was reciting my verses. This helped in getting set for meditation as I was feeling ready to begin. Today I closed my eyes & breathed in & out a few times, making a note that I was breathing. I then repeated OM a few times as well, coming from deep within me and “dragging” the sound to my head.
I recited from memory and when stuck, I consulted my book for the full text. When the alarm buzzed I turned it off, spent a few minutes quietly, told myself that I would have a good day and that I had done well and left the room
Observations and Comments
Although it helps to do the breathing and chanting Om, the thoughts still find their way in. But just be consistent in going back to the verse and ignoring the thoughts
February 1
After the preliminaries I began by watching the flame of the candle, then closed my eyes. In the darkness before me I began deep breathing for a few minutes, making a conscious effort to be aware of breathing. As I breathed in I told myself I was letting in peace and as I breathed out I told myself I was letting out those annoying thoughts. I then repeated OM about 4 times, dragging it like, Ooooommmmmm, coming from deep within and letting it reach deep into my head.
After this I read my verses and also attempted to recite it from memory. I am fairly fluent with 2 verses and the others are becoming more familiar. I read and recited a few times. The thoughts still come creeping in but I just let it go. At the end, I turn off the alarm, sit quietly for a few moments and tell myself I have done well and that I will have a good day before moving away.
Observations and Comments
The book, Yoga by Swami Venketasananda, states that it is very, very
hard to Meditate and to prevent distracting thoughts. So do not be discouraged if you find
this happening to you.
This is exactly what happens to us in life and why we end up being impatient, nervous, rude or
careless. We have to slow down and learn to focus on our daily tasks. Meditation
is a tool that will help us to apply this technique to other areas of our lives.
We have to continue
to work at getting the mind to focus, for the moment, on the passages that we recite.
The deep breathing and reciting OM definitely helps in focusing.
January 31
I had a small cup of tea as I needed some refreshment. I then lit the candle, fetched my book & set the alarm. As usual I watched the flame of the candle which has a very calming effect on me. Today I used a different, tall candle, not the usual tea candles, so it behaved quite differently. It flickered in little bursts and spurts, and swayed a lot as if there was a breeze. Maybe there was something on the wick that caused this reaction. I continued to watch until the flame became calm and gentle again. I thought this was so interesting, so like our minds that we are all trying to get calm.
I breathed in and out and was conscious of my breathing. It definitely has a steadying effect. I read my verses and interspersed it by reciting it from memory. I succeeded some of the times. I concentrated on the words but I still have those uninvited guests wanting to settle in. I do not allow them to take hold of me, ignore them and continue with the verses which I enjoy so much. At the end of the session, I sat and savored the moment, said to myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day
January 30
Today I had half a cup of tea before meditation as I was in need of some sustenance. I did the preliminaries like finding my text and spent a few minutes just settling down. It is relaxing to watch the gentle, yet steady sway of the flame. I practiced breathing, in and out, & being aware that I was breathing, another relaxing technique. I then began reading and tried to recall the passage. I struggled a bit and went back to the text. It helps to read something that is really inspiring.
The thoughts still find their way in, and the only thing to do is to let it go and continue with the verses. The attempt to concentrate and learn the text seems to help in not being aware of the sneaky thoughts. I have improved in memorizing 2 verses now. At the end of the session I observed the flame & ended the session, acknowledging that I felt good and that I would have a good day.
Observations and Comments
I was browsing through an article on Meditation in the bookYoga by the late Swami Venkatesananda of the Divine Life Society. He talked about the need to settle in before meditation & likewise to take some time to move away, without rushing out at the end of the meditation session.. In this way you will “ carry-off” with you some of the relaxation and peace that you experienced.
He said, just as you switch the radio on and then tune, and adjust the volume, so should you prepare yourself for the quiet time. He suggested breathing in and out while being aware that you are breathing. Hold on to this, and do it again, being aware all the time that you are breathing. It will help in focusing on just one thing.
He also explained using OM as a technique to begin the session. When you say Ohhmmmmmmmmmm, let it come from deep within the stomach, and slowly let it travel through upwards, into your head. Repeat this a few times. You will find that you are concentrating on things within you, and therefore ignoring those annoying thoughts from flitting in unannounced.
For those who are uncomfortable with using the word OM, try the same technique with Ahhhhhhhhhhh or another sound that you prefer.
January 29
I was somewhat unsettled today. I think that this was due to my being hungry and cold I still enjoyed the passage and attempted memorizing it as well. Thoughts continued to creep in but ignored them and concentrated on the inspiring verses. I find it a good break to pause from my reading and watch the steady flame. I am getting better at reciting the passage and I think I will soon know it very well. When the alarm buzzed I turned it off and sat awhile to savor the atmosphere before moving on. I told myself that I had done well and that I would have a good day
Observations and Comments
A lesson to be learned is that one should be comfortable before meditation begins. If you
need to have breakfast or just a beverage, do that.
Dress for the weather, wrap up if you need to. We should try and eliminate the distractions
that we can, as we have to continuously wrangle with our uninvited thoughts
January 28
I collected my book, cell phone & candle and settled in after setting the alarm. I found that I was unconsciously repeating the word OM, with which most Hindu prayer sessions begin. It is pronounced as Ohhmmmmmmmm. It is very calming to say it like this. I then continued to read the passage and attempted to recall thee lines. This helped me concentrate so much more that I was less aware of those thoughts that sneak in. I ended the session with reading the passage one more time slowly, turned off the alarm and sat quietly for a few moments. I told myself that I had done a good job and that I would have a good day.
Observations and Comments
The sound OM is said to be the source of creation. For more on the significance of the word Om, click on OM It is said that OM “ symbolizes unfolding or expansion- when pronounced, it begins in the lungs, and ends on the lips.“. Of course if you don't feel like using this expression choose one that you prefer or none at all. These are all aids to concentration and calmness
January 27
After settling in to the atmosphere of quietness, I began reading the verses slowly. When I paused I watched the flickering candle again. I begin reading again and find that in no time my mind flits to other matters. I ignore this and continue to read the verses again at a slow pace. I enjoy what I read, this is always an inspiration to me. When the alarm buzzers, I turn it off and sit for a while to savor the calmness. I tell myself that I have done a good job and that I will have a good day.
January 26
I use a different room today. I settle in after getting everything ready and lighting the candle. I sit awhile and feel the calmness that just lighting the candle has generated. I then read my verses. As interested as I am in the text,I find myself also paying attention to some other thoughts. I go back with more of an effort to concentrate on the verses. I find that when I read the verses slowly, I am better able to focus on the text. So I do that for a while and I find that I also appreciate the words so much more. When the alarm buzzes, I switch it off, sit for a few minutes and tell myself that I had done a good job and that I would have a good day.
Observations and Comments
I found that reading at a slower pace aided with concentration. Hand in hand with meditation is the philosophy advocated by Sri Eknath Easwaran, Thich Nacht Hahn and other teachers of meditation that we need to slow down. If we want serenity and less stress, this exercise of reciting slowly is good practice.
January 25
I gathered my book, a cell phone to set the alarm, a lamp upon which I place a candle and then lit the candle. I found my passage on, The Epistle of Love, set the alarm and then sat upright. I watched the flame for a while. It has a very steadying effect just to concentrate and watch that almost almond shaped flame, so perfect & rich with color.
I began reading and again found the passage so uplifting. I marvel at the words about love. I still find thoughts drifting in. I continue to read and again from some place these other thoughts come creeping in. What a busy mind I must have. But I read again and try really hard to pay attention to the words. That helps and I find again, comfort in reading this to myself and trying to take it all in without distractions. When the alarm buzzes I switch it off and read the passage one more time. I am now getting familiar with the words. I look at the candle again, snuff it and tell myself I did a good job and I will have a good day.I feel good. Looking forward to my next session tomorrow morning. Will you join me?
January 24
I seated myself comfortably in a large armchair and opened my book to the chosen passage. I set the alarm for 15 minutes. I lit a candle and enjoyed watching the flickering flame which helped to acclimatize me to this experience.
I then read a passage from St.Paul titled, The Epistle of Love. I really liked this passage. It is very relevant for me at this time. But instead of just concentrating on the words, my thoughts were saying,“ I have to share this, Oh, my friend should read this. ” I went back to the passage and tried to just take in the words, but again I was distracted by wanting to share this information. I did manage to read the whole passage 2½ times before the alarm buzzed. I switched it off and finished reading the passage. I spent a few minutes to just savor the feeling of quiet & peace, dowsed the candle, closed the book and said to myself that I did a good job and that I would have a good day.
I felt uplifted and calmed by the passage. I look forward to my next session tomorrow morning.