Alec Baldwin

Well known celebrities and highly rated movie stars Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger made the headlines recently when  Alec’s outburst  on his daughter’s  voicemail  became so well publicised.  He obviously reacted in an inappropriate way, but it is good that he recognizes this and he has apologized to his daughter  publicly. His ex-wife, Kim Basinger  may have leaked  this voice mail to the public and in the process violated terms of the closed custody hearings.

 There are views  both in support and against the actions of  Alec  Baldwin.  As both parents are also well liked by fans and friends one  should  examine what is behind the custody battles, the inappropriate voicemails,  the leaking of this information to to the public and the effect on this tussle and trauma on the  child.  They  appear to continually hurt  each other and  the real issue of sharing joint custody, respectfully,  gets lost in all the emotional drama.

 Some of the  feelings they display are   anger, distrust, disrespect, unfairness,  hurt, disappointment and  frustration. What is masked is their great  need  for respect, belonging,  love,  being involved, recognized and appreciated amongst other unexpressed needs.

 Many of us are unable to recognize our needs and express them. Instead we get caught up in trying to get even , in circular arguments are often not aware of the effect of all of this on  children.   

If this family is able to use the suggestions of  Nonviolent Communication or NVC  they may be able to recognize that each party has a number of unsatisfied needs that result in these outbursts and blaming and shaming behavior.

NVC advocates couples to learn to really listen to  and empathize with each other. When they learn to do this they will be able to see that both actually want the same thing, the well being of their child. It is then that they will be able to work in compassionate ways to satisfy everybody. This approach will enhance relationships and strengthen family ties.

This website has a  fuller explanation on NVC at Nonviolent Communication and links to NVC website.

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